Parenting With Gratitude - A Year of Focused Journaling

I spoke about starting this journaling series in my post, A Year of Focused Journaling - Identifying Your Authenticity.  Below is the first installment of the series and with a new installment every month.  All the monthly prompts for the series can be found Here!.  

Identify the hardest parts of last year through the lens of gratitude.  

Parenting with Gratitude

Parenting is hard.  Like, really hard. You're learning as you go and you're bound to make mistakes. It's going to happen.  I remember thinking after we had our first baby, WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? I CAN'T DO THIS! Our parents are going to have to move in.  Thankfully that thought passed and so did my fear.  Each day I'm learning something new, comforting emotional kids, and continuing to make mistakes because I still don't know what the hell I'm doing to be quite honest.   

My kids are growing out of the toddler stage and moving towards the school-aged era and they're starting to discover and understand their emotions more.  Let me tell you something, it's not exactly a walk in the park.  I have three little boys, my oldest is five-and-a-half and my youngest is about ready to turn two.  Overall, they're happy, loveable boys that enjoy playing outside, riding their scooters, playing video games with Dad, but man-oh-man, can they try my patience, throw shade and sass it up like their life depended on it.  

So many times last year I struggled with parenting, (not really the youngest, the older two) because when they didn't get their way...hell hath no fury.  Kingston, my oldest, in particular, went through a phase that lasted about a month where he was just constantly annoyed and upset and angry.  He would sass back or lash out at his younger brother Avery when they would be playing or if we told him no he would have a fit without caring about the repercussions.   So many timeouts were implemented and privileges were revoked for his bad attitude.  After a few weeks of this behavior, he still wasn't like his normal self and was sassier than ever; I was at my wits ends with hardly a shred of patience left.  Every time he would act out, I would lash out causing more of an attitude problem for BOTH of us. 

My husband and I talked and came to the conclusion that maybe he just needs some one-on-one time with mom and dad.  So that's what we did.  We took him out for the day, just the three of us, while his brothers stayed home with their grandparents; we went to lunch, a movie, and got ice cream.  He was happy and never once acted out.  We talked to him and explained how he had been acting wasn't the best and he needed to think about how his attitude was affecting those around him.  

We returned home and that night I thought about the talk we had with Kingston and I realized, my attitude wasn't helping his attitude.  I was losing my patience because he didn't know how to handle his emotions in a healthy way.  The next morning I woke with a positive attitude and was determined for my attitude to rub off on my children.  When they started getting upset I removed them the situation and explained to them that it's okay to be upset and to show your emotions, but not to lash out and hit someone else or whatever the case may be.  We did some breathing exercises that Kingston learned at preschool to help him calm down and then always finished with a hug.  I would keep the boys separated from each other for a bit to help them both calm down and forget about their anger or sadness. After a few days of this, Kingston was back to his normal self.  He recognized when he was starting to get upset and would let us know and we'd help him handle or express how he is feeling in a healthy manner.  

Looking back to that long month, I realized that I wasn't just teaching my son how to handle a situation, I was teaching myself patience, which had been something I had been lacking for a long time and it was something I had been praying about constantly.  I was running on fumes at one point.  It's funny how the Lord answers our prayers.  He didn't just fill you up with patience like you fill up your car's tank with gas, but he presented opportunities to practice patience and grow in it. I was too blind to see the opportunities He had put in front of me until finally, it punched me in the face and I realized what was happening. 

Now even today,  I still struggle with lacking patience and dealing with my kiddos acting out. It's inevitable, some days are just hard and you just have to let your emotions out and that's okay.  But at the end of the day, my husband and I tuck our boys into bed, give them each love, say prayers and tell them goodnight.  Tomorrow is a new day and it's a new opportunity to teach them and guide them down the best path in their life.  

I'm grateful that I'm able to make these mistakes with my kids and to be able to learn from them.  I'm grateful that I'm providing them with tools to help them coop when life gets hard.  I'm grateful for the answered prayers of patience and my son returning to his normal, goofy, happy self.  Last year was a hard time to be a parent, but I grew a lot in my faith, and as a mother; in growing my patience; and falling more in love with my family.   And for that, I'm filled with gratitude. 

That's the word.  Until next time.  
-C